If you are friends with me on Facebook, you’ve seen my adventures with my leg. I’ve certainly had my share of challenges over the last few weeks. I thought my lesson was to slow down and ask for help. I’ve been trying to figure out what the lesson(s) I’ve been given. I keep running into these complications.
I decided that I would take to my favorite resource when it comes to digging a little deeper into the lessons or messages I need to learn. I pulled out “How to Heal Yourself” and started digging.
These are the problems that I explored through Louise Hay’s: foot problems, leg(s), lower leg problem, right side of the body, skin, toes, shin, inflammation, itis, feet, circulation, bone problems, bone, ankle, accident, wounds, and injuries. Although this is a tool that I use often with my clients. It always amazes me how in tune these things really are.
What showed up in various forms was hands down fear. Fear of the future and the whole uncertainty of what’s to come. At the time of my accident, I knew we were going to be moving. We had just found out where. My mother-in-law was not aware and guilt was certainly coming up. We didn’t want her to worry about the details. We wanted her inevitable transition to run as smoothly as possible for her, which for the most part did.
Having to let go of something that came to fruition in the middle of the night, “a-ha” and hanging onto it so tightly. When I reflect back on it, I know it had its purpose. It fell into my lap allowing me to meet new people, form new friendships and partnerships, and most importantly, a “safe space” where I could work with no mask during a time that triggered my trauma response. Wearing a mask really causes me a hard time. And having to be at the hospital as much as I have been reminds me of that.
Although I’ve continued to work virtually, I now need to reevaluate what I am offering and how. And at this moment I’m worrying about all the details that are not relevant. I need to look at the bigger picture and reverse construct.
I work with my anxious clients using the tools, skills and experiences from both my personal and professional life. Living with anxiety and various traumas allows me a different form of compassion to work with my clients.
Yes, the bigger message of slowing down and asking for help is definitely still at play, but it’s not the main message. I’ve spent many times over the last few weeks crying over details that are beyond my control. When I take a step back and think about what I would have a client reflect on, my answer is to focus on what are priorities. Right now, these are taking enough time to rest, heal, and physically move. It’s important that my house/office not get cluttered so that I can move around. This has been good. Most things that have come into our living and my workspace have been able to be placed where they belong or stored appropriately for adequate movement.
The last area that has come up is about emotions: frustration, anger, guilt, and inability to express myself freely. If I have something to express, I express it.
I live among people, more recently, in my life where walking on eggshells to express myself has become the norm. I’m not okay with that. These are codependent behaviors and boundaries that I have worked on releasing from my life. This is not a situation that can be changed, because it is part of our life right now.
How can I handle this situation differently? I’ve decided that my husband needs to be the one to carry the burden and address it how it needs to be addressed. He has chosen to continue to “tip toe”, however, I am no longer. Certain areas in our life have to be managed, or micro-managed as one person involved so eloquently indicated, in a certain way for our household to function, and he will need to be the one to battle with the top toeing that I was now stepping away from that part of the responsibility.
The question that I know is likely to come up is “Now what?”. Now what is that I take this information and release it back to the Universe to provide me with the guidance, tools, and support to handle this. Using the affirmations that Louise Hay shares for these issues, I turn it into one that works for me at this moment.
I move forward in life, with confidence, joy and ease as life is for me and knowing that all is well in my future. I lovingly release the past as it is forgiven and forgotten. They are free and I am free in this moment. All is well in my heart now. I safely balance my masculine and feminine energy easily and effortlessly to be me protecting myself with thoughts of love, joy, and peace. My thinking is peaceful, calm, and centered and remind myself that all details take care of themselves. I am willing to change all patterns of criticism as I love and approve of myself. I am free to circulate love and joy in every part of my world. I love life. In my world, I am my own authority, for I am the only one who thinks in my mind. I am well structured and balanced. I deserve to rejoice in life. I accept all the pleasure life has to offer. I release the pattern in me that created this. I am at peace. I am worthwhile. I forgive myself, and I choose to love myself. I now release anger in positive ways. I love and appreciate myself.
Do you have an affirmation you use? Please share below.